My friends are all getting engaged. I’m still puking on street corners. PGP.

That audible sigh of relief when you find out that everyone’s least-favorite person isn’t coming in today. PGP.

It’s almost “drive to work in the dark, drive home in the dark” season. PGP.

I started playing Temple Run again. PGP.

Rush Crush. TSM. Rush Hour. PGP.

Knowing exactly how far you can drive with the “empty gas tank” light on. PGP.

The only reason I want to keep this job is because it gives me ideas for PGP posts. PGP.

I want my friends to know that my PGP account is me, but I don’t want my employers to know. PGP.

Nobody ever responds to my Snapchats. PGP.

Getting in trouble for not taking a lunch break. PGP.