I’m on the apple a day health care plan. PGP.

That second bottle of wine on a work night: good in theory, entirely ridiculous in practice. PGP.

I got a raise and have no idea how or why it happened. I’m not asking questions. PGP.

My company not having its shit together is the only thing keeping me from being fired. PGP.

Last meal of 2014, frozen pizza. First meal of 2015, frozen pizza. PGP.

Monday, you son of a bitch. PGP.

Please kill me if I ever become the person in the office who wears the blinking Christmas lights necklace. PGP.

My inbox is full, but my life is empty. PGP.

Going from living in a house filled with 30 of your best friends to a one bedroom apartment alone. PGP.

Making more money than I ever have in my life, still managing to be broke as fuck. PGP.