Realizing your entry-level analyst job is a lot like administrative assistant. PGP.

Not wanting to be known as “The Guy Who Does Nothing,” but not wanting to actually do anything. PGP.

Setting your alarm at the bar. PGP.

So, big plans this weekend? PGP.

“Hey I have to drop off this call to run to another meeting.” *Sprints to the bathroom before defecating everywhere* PGP.

“All I want for Mother’s Day is for you to find a nice girl.” PGP.

Everyone in the office is at Oaks drinking bourbon and betting on horses and I’m sitting here in my cube because I don’t have PTO yet. PGP.

XBox recognizes my achievements more than my company. PGP

Most pro athletes are younger than me.

It’s only a matter of time before the girl I’m dating realizes what a professional mess I am. PGP.