Developing unhealthy delusions of winning the lottery. PGP.

Power napping at red lights. PGP.

If I found out an asteroid was going to hit earth today, I wouldn’t be all that upset. PGP.

90% of my day is spent avoiding emails and pretending I’m too busy to answer the phone. PGP.

My to-do list is finished by 2:00pm every single day. After that it’s all smoke and mirrors. PGP.

Always blaming the new guy. PGP.

When you’re so bored that you actually start doing some work. PGP.

My “tax refund” this year is as depressing as the elevator ride up to my office every day. PGP.

If the art of passive aggressive emails was a college major, I would’ve had an amazing GPA. PGP.

Wanting so badly to put “I’m on vacation, fuck off” as your out of office reply. PGP.