Having the same Monday night routine as Ted Cruz. PGP.

Wishing you had a more ergonomic chair. PGP.

Equifax. PGP.

My coworker responds “roger that” in a group text with my boss. PGP.

Went into the office to make a good impression on the new boss. Got pulled over on the way. PGP.

Left my number on a receipt for the waitress at Applebee’s. Biggest rush I’ve gotten all month. PGP.

$1.50 hot dog combo at Costco for lunch. PGP.

Got my first raise last week. Found out today it was just enough to put me in the next tax bracket and now I’m effectively making less money. PGP.

“How about that fight?” PGP.

Fell asleep in the middle of my fantasy draft last night. PGP.