The “I’m not trying to bash teachers…” preface before laying into them for complaining about pay when they get two months and all major holidays off. PGP.

Getting a “Your account balance fell below $25 dollars” email twice in the same week. PGP.

Based off of everyone’s Tinder pictures, I haven’t done shit with my life. PGP.

Every day feels like my own personal Fail Friday. PGP.

My Friday nights are becoming eerily similar to my Sunday through Thursday nights. PGP.

Ran out of content on all the webpages I go to, and it’s not even 2:00. PGP.

Mumbling “fuck you” under your breath to everyone that emails you asking for “an update”. PGP.

Suns out, no guns to pull out. PGP.

I bought a 12-pack of Natural Light last night, just to feel young again. PGP.

My Bank of America account has three figures. PGP.