Wednesday: Finally feel recovered from the weekend. Thursday: Happy hour. PGP.

When your drinking schedule on Saturday is 2 to 8 rather than 8 to 2. PGP.

“Have a great J4!” Please cut it the fuck out with the weird abbreviations that no one uses. PGP.

Someone shared “12 things you never knew you could put in the dishwasher” on Facebook. I don’t have a dishwasher. PGP.

Listening to the execs plan their trip to the Hamptons. I’m excited for a seven dollar bar crawl this weekend. PGP.

“Have a safe 4th of July weekend!” Don’t tell me how to live my life. PGP.

Sharing a cubicle with a file cabinet that isn’t yours and a support beam. PGP.

Getting “Let’s clock 40 yard dash times” drunk. PGP.

Drunkenly ironing a shirt in a hotel room. PGP.