Wondering if today is going to be the day you yell “shut the hell up” at the office.

I like to print random documents to a printer on the other side of the office, and walk a lap through the office with it in my hand. An hour later, I’ll walk another lap back, and shred it. It looks like work and makes my cardiologist happy. PGP

Being terrified when asked “What is your desired salary?” PGP

Turns out 9 to 5 is just an expression

At that point in my life where the car my parents gave me is going to need to be replaced. Shit.

Saying, “I’ve never seen the market do anything like this before!” so it sounds like you’ve followed the market for longer than your 10 months of employment. #PGP

“You hear about that missing plane?”

It is Thursday, which means it is almost Friday, which is the weekend which is right before Monday. Shit, it’s almost Monday. #PGP

Still having to explain to your parents what your friends from college are doing now. PGP

Not going to happy hour on Wednesday because you plan to go out on Saturday.