I wish skipping work was as simple as skipping class.

The paradox of days passing very slowly, but the months passing all too fast.

Pretending something’s wrong with my computer so I can restart it and not be expected to do anything for a couple minutes.

See attached department goal list, please add 3 personal goals to this list and upload them to the group document by the end of the week #PGP

All your best tweets going to your drafts to die cuz you’re paranoid the offensive content will get you fired

I’m even on a dry-streak for Tinder matches. #PGP

Getting your password wrong four times because you have the shakes from the weekend.

The guy two cubes over that answers his phone with “Domino’s Pizza”, and laughs hysterically like it’s the first time he said it.

Not telling the boss that I finished a project until he asks about it, so he won’t give me another. PGP

Spending Sunday looking for the fire alarm that is making noise. PGP