“Please let me know if you have anymore questions!”

Chris Borland is my hero for retiring at 26. PGP.

Happy Hour on a Monday? This can’t go wrong right?

Got excited when I was invited to get drinks with “the girls”. Bailed when I heard we weren’t meeting until 10pm. PGP.

Had a dentist appointment this morning. Thanks to the laughing gas it was the highlight of my day. PGP.

My boss only communicates with me through idioms, abbreviations, and curse words. PGP.

Someone broke into my car last night and took literally none of my possessions. PGP.

I left the bar at 9:15 on Saturday because I was tired. PGP

Do you have any tums? PGP.

Too scared to click on the “Your card statement is ready” email the day after getting back from SXSW.