Dropped $24 at Starbucks yesterday for the wife and son determined to get that free drink. Open up the app on Monday morning to see I’m at 124 stars. PGP

Jealous of Obama because he gets to quit his job today. PGP.

Asking “Who do you know here?” at a party. TFM. Asking “Who do you know here?” at a networking event. PGP.

Toeing the line between skinny fat and just fat. PGP.

Having to retake grades K-12 to prove to my dad I’m ready to take over the family hotel chain. PGP.

Guy in the cube next to me got a standing desk. I feel like he’s always watching me now. PGP.

One of my work friends got engaged today meanwhile I fucked my ex. PGP.

The 40 plus dudes have absolutely no remorse about destroying a stall and then coming out and chatting you up like you didn’t hear what just happened in there. Friends noticed this where they work too. It’s a thing. PGP.

I didn’t get anything in the office Secret Santa exchange, and I don’t know who to be pissed at. PGP.