I use the Grandex podcasts to keep my days straight. PGP.

“How’s your bandwidth this week?” PGP.

Had a chorizo breakfast burrito and large coffee this morning. Bathroom was out of toilet paper. PGP.

The best part of a lunch meeting is using the napkins to dry my tears of anger. PGP.

Office manager printed out a list of everyone’s birthdays. I’m not on it but the girl hired 6 months after me is. PGP.

I just sat though a conference call at a house party. PGP.

Boss tried to “updog” me this morning. PGP.

Leaving one suit coat at your desk at all times so your boss doesn’t know if you’ve truly left. PGP.

Girlfriend puked in an Uber this weekend, considering taking $300 out of a mutual fund that I parked away cash for her engagement ring. PGP.