I’d rather be the worst player on the PGA tour every week, than the best employee in my department. PGP.

Me when I was 18: “I’ll be a billionaire by 25.” Me now: “I wonder if I’ll still be living at home by 25.” PGP.

Hot new intern stopped by to introduce herself. HR stopped by to give me a preemptive warning. PGP.

Having no personal items on your desk so you can get up and leave immediately if fired. PGP.

Fuck. PGP.

Working 60, getting paid for 40. PGP.

Tinder is in the “Games” folder on my iPhone, and that’s exactly where it should be. PGP.

My roommates (parents) threw out my cigarettes. PGP.

Actually having to check the expiration date on condoms before using them. PGP.

Drunkenly telling your coworker you want to fuck them during a work trip #PGP