Strongly considering eating romaine lettuce in the hopes that I get E. coli so I can have a couple of days off.

Worked from home and fell asleep during a conference call. No one noticed.

Reddit. News. ESPN. Reddit. News. ESPN. Reddit. News. ESPN.

The old “post-Happy Hour drunk LinkedIn request.”

CFO responded to a company-wide email about meeting our yearly goal with nothing but “Dilly Dilly!” PGP.

Feeling an inexplicable wave of nostalgia whenever I listen to John Mayer. PGP.

Using Shift when Caps Lock is on. PGP.

Was told the lobbyist I was meeting today had a penchant for non-PC jokes. Apparently, I went too far. PGP.