Turn down for what? Turned down for a raise, that’s what. PGP.

Changing girls as often as your underwear. TFM. Changing girls as often as your oil. PGP.

Coming home to eat leftovers on your couch in your underwear and watch Netflix. PGP.

1: “You drink last night?” 2: ” Nope, just allergy season.” PGP.

I don’t know if I’m terrible at budgeting or if I’m just not making enough money. PGP.

Was forwarded a meeting invite. It started 5 minutes ago. PGP.

Games of Thrones is my sole source of porn. PGP.

Pretty sure the cleaning ladies stole my earphones last night. PGP.

Trying to figure out how to make a Lunchables pizza, 2 cans of SpaghettiOs and meatballs, and some shredded cheese last me until payday. PGP.

How do I get out of this bachelor party? PGP.