Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.

Ugh. PGP.

The only hanging out I do anymore is via Google. PGP.

My manager saw me wearing aviators and now everytime I call him he answers with, “Talk to me Goose.” PGP.

Getting a new match on Tinder gives me the same false promise that my degree did. PGP.

My life is now just looking forward to the next time I get drunk and hate myself for it. PGP.

Hearing friends’ salaries and knowing I picked the wrong major. PGP.

My favorite podcasters are on vacation and now I don’t know how to work. PGP.

It used to be “No new friends” because I didn’t want any. Now it’s “no new friends” because I can’t make any. PGP.

This is my cube. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My cube is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My cube, without me, is useless. Without my cube, I am useless. PGP.