“Board meeting? More like bored meeting. Am I right?” PGP.

Riding a fine caffeinated line between falling asleep and having a seizure. PGP.

I think I may be the epitome of what’s wrong with this generation. PGP.

The most productive thing I’ve done today was download the PGP app. PGP.

I have 192 matches on Tinder, but have gotten laid zero times because I’m always too tired and lazy to follow through with trying to set up a date. PGP.

Wasted Wednesday now means the day was wasted in meetings. PGP.

Realizing the warm summer weather will have almost no impact on your daily life. PGP.

Turn down for what? Turned down for a raise, that’s what. PGP.

My friend got engaged last night. I went home and sent weird messages on Tinder. PGP.

Changing girls as often as your underwear. TFM. Changing girls as often as your oil. PGP.