If Sallie Mae was a real person, I’d hunt her down and punch her in the fucking face. PGP.

Hearing friends’ salaries and knowing I picked the wrong major. PGP.

The last time the World Cup was on I was drunk in college. Now, I’m hungover in a cubicle. PGP.

Quit my job on my birthday. Best gift I have ever received. PGP.

Submitting the same rejected PGP wall post three times because you know most sales occur on the third call. PGP.

Watching “The Wolf of Wall Street” and realizing that you actually do work for a “shit kicker bucket shop.” PGP.

Dropped my work iPhone on my personal iPhone. I now have two broken iPhones. PGP.

I miss being able to relate to TFM. PGP.