Jealous of Obama because he gets to quit his job today. PGP.

6/6 getting a kiss on the first date. 0/6 in securing a second date. PGP.

Watching project X and all I can think is that I hope the parents have a great home insurance plan. PGP.

Even Tinder bots won’t talk to me. PGP.

Refusing to burn PTO on the impending ice storm then being the only one in the office who shows up. PGP.

Violently sneezed at the urinal and pissed all over myself. PGP.

Toeing the line between skinny fat and just fat. PGP.