Refusing to read the “best jobs of 2017” articles because they make me too depressed. PGP.

Fell asleep on the couch for the 2nd half of the game. PGP.

Having to retake grades K-12 to prove to my dad I’m ready to take over the family hotel chain. PGP.

Boss announced we will have a guest speaker on “how to manage millennials.” As the only millennial I offered to give the speech for half the pay and no benefits. Offer rejected. PGP.

I’ve stopped caring about having sex. PGP.

Recognizing people across multiple online dating sites. PGP.

Opened underwear from my deployed boyfriend that said “sexually deprived for your freedom” in front of my super conservative parents and grandparents. Merry Christmas. PGP.

You know you’re getting old when your friends all start having planned pregnancies. PGP.

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

Any time someone emails me with a question, it takes every ounce of my will power not to answer, “I have no fucking idea, dude.” PGP.