“Do you want your door open, closed, … ?” PGP.

Coworkers still quote the GEICO hump day commercial. Every. Single. Week.

My car is too old to drive for uber

I wish I was half as happy as I sound in my emails. PGP.

My office wife works in the branch on the other side of the country. PGP

It will take me approximately 157 years at my current salary to earn what 21 year old Jordan Speith has earned so far in 2015. PGP

Getting written up for telling my boss “it’s not my job to vacuum” PGP

Signing birthday cards for people you’ve never even heard of. PGP.

I lost my favorite pen. In worse news, I have a favorite pen. PGP

I spent an hour looking at templates for a 2 week notice, I don’t even have another offer yet. PGP