I think Fallon comes on too late. PGP.

Friends being impressed by how “domestic” you are, when in reality you’re just too poor to go out or order in. PGP.

Binge eating coworkers’ kid’s halloween candy. PGP.

My wife is my best friend. PGP.

Button just popped off my pants. I’m giving a presentation in 20 minutes. My belt hides it, but I don’t know what will hide my shame. PGP.

When the conference call waiting music legitimately becomes “your jam.” PGP.

I’m really going to start taking things seriously next week. PGP.

I’m a Jets fan. It only adds to the torture of Mondays. PGP.

A confident “Well, that’s all for me today,” after spending an hour cleaning out your inbox on a Friday. PGPM.

Introvert in the office. Extrovert in literally every other aspect of my life. PGP.