Left to take a 20 minute dump at 9:32. Voicemail from manager at 9:33. PGP.

All I’ve been able to do today is sit in my chair and slump forward with my arms crossed. That hungover. PGP.

My parents have more of a social life than I do. PGP.

“I’m a little upset about a bad sexual episode last night.” -Fletcher Reed. PGP.

Identifying more and more with Chandler Bing’s attitude towards work. PGP.

Really bonding with Bill Simmons over having shitty coworkers. PGP.

The only “company ink” I could “dip my pen in” is the divorced 55-year-old office manager. PGP.

Couldn’t use a lot of my vacation days this year. Took off every Friday until 2015. PGPM.

“Have you ever been for a ride in a certified pre-owned Acura TL?” PGPM.

Weeks and weeks of online training and examinations. Finally able to start selling and make commission. First call? Straight to voicemail. PGP.