I had to Google what “on fleek” meant.

Woke up in the middle of the night because I had a dream the Fed raised interest rates and I didn’t refinance my student loans in time. PGP

My week revolves around Game of Thrones. PGP

Every time my parents invite me over, I prepare myself to be on an episode of “Intervention.”

If I can just make it to lunch, I’ll probably make it through the rest of the day. PGP.

I NAILED the “blacksheep brother” role at my sister’s wedding.

“So, you still haven’t found a girlfriend?” PGP

Wedding I went to ended up being a cash bar.

Was too embarrassed to tell my doctor that I haven’t slept with anyone since my last visit.