Ate my lunch much outside the other day, got sunburnt and sweated through my shirt. PGP.

The summer intern whom I’d never spoken to added me on LinkedIn after his last day. PGP.

If I had a dollar for every time I threw up on myself in the morning on my way to work, I’d probably have enough to cover happy hour this evening.

Had to ask my neighbors to keep it down last night. PGP

I was showing a senior analyst something on my laptop and accidentally hit the alt+tab keys, then he saw multiple LinkedIn jobs pages. PGP.

I’m the only one in my office who doesn’t care how that schmuck met their mother. PGP

I live and work in two different time zones. PGP.

All of my Hinge matches have expired. PGP

Got below perfect rating on my yearly review for attendance. I have literally taken 0 days off. PGP

I find myself relating more and more to Jack Nicholson’s character in “One Flew Over the Cukoo’s Nest,”… Pre and Post op. PGP