It’s funny how much I used to hate taking a dump in a public bathroom. PGP

Co-worker with an office has been caught looking at porn three times; meanwhile, I can’t even install Spotify on my desktop. PGP

Came to a recruiting fair to find new interns. Spent more time networking for a new job. PGPM

Dated a co-worker. Now I have to walk the long way to the printer and break room. PGP.

Had sex for the first time in over a year. Got an STD. PGP.

Lost too much weight and can’t afford a new wardrobe. PGP

It took a year of networking and befriending IT to get the Wifi password. PGP

I feel like a western gunslinger whenever I alt-tab as my boss walks by. PGP

Just got an outlook invite for an ice cream and cake party to celebrate my last day of work. Fuck. PGP

The more I have to listen to my middle-age coworker complain about new technology in the office the more I understand the psyche of Patrick Bateman.PGP.