“In 150 characters or fewer, tell us what makes you unique.” PGP.

Looking for the cheapest thing on the registry. PGP.

Having to ask the pharmacist if it’s okay to drink on your new medication. PGP.

I don’t know how long basic produce stays good for. PGP.

Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.

Using your dog as an excuse to get out of things you don’t want to do after work. PGP.

Looking up exercise programs knowing full well that you’ll never do any of them. PGP.

Girlfriend, 401(k), gym membership. Pick one. PGP.

I have no self control. PGP.

Can’t wait to watch the news tonight. PGP.