“That’s probably before your time” always being before your time.

My coworker is leaving work to go to the dentist and I’m jealous. PGP.

Being told, “We must be on the same schedule.” when you see the same old guy in the bathroom on back-to-back trips. PGP.

Taking fake poops

Never wanting to go to Sunday brunch again because two day hangovers are very real. PGP.

Just realized I’m past the “all my friends are getting married” stage and have slid head first into the “all my friends are having babies” stage. PGP.

I either have to propose to her or break up with her. PGP

“Can everyone see my screen?”