I have my headphones in so no one will talk to me but they aren’t even plugged in. PGP.

I spend most of my Monday at work trying to think of witty posts to put on the PGP wall. PGP.

Babe flirting with me in the bar turned out to be a hooker. I couldn’t afford it. PGP

I’m drunk in my LinkedIn profile pic. PGP.

Those people on the technical school commercials look more happy and successful than me. PGP.

I didn’t drink at all yesterday. This morning I feel like a million bucks, that I’ll probably never have. PGP.

I haven’t been this sober on my birthday since high school. PGP

Visited my college over the weekend. Blew my knee out running from the cops. PGP.

Came back home drunk on a Thursday night to hear, “How was your night honey?” From my mom.