I don’t even look at the clock anymore. I tell time by how many times I click “I’m Still Listening” on Pandora. PGP.

Too slutty to work at Hobby Lobby. PGP.

Getting excited about health insurance. PGP.

Everyone in the office has been losing their shit over how awesome the newly installed Dyson Blade hand-dryers are. PGP.

My boss made a “You’ve been working very hard. Why don’t you take Friday off?” joke just now. I’ve been so out of it that I didn’t realize we already had it off. PGP.

Promotions that manage to make you feel worse about yourself. PGP.

At work on my birthday. PGP.

Instead of giving us a raise, they put a fountain in the lobby. PGP.

Realizing you’re at the office twice as much as your boss and make half as much. PGP.