“Lower your expectations and you won’t be disappointed” is the office’s slogan. PGP.

Forgot that today was Hawaiian shirt day and literally everyone has given me a hard time about it.

My mom texts every Friday morning asking me if I have “big plans” for the weekend.

Combining sick days with vacation days on your time sheet. PGP.

“Will you sign this card for Jane?” PGP

The “O” key on my keyboard is starting to stick. PGP

My company charges our clients 5 times the amount that they pay me. PGP

“I’ll shoot it over to you now.”

“Moving forward, I will be sure that I take all necessary steps to ensure this doesn’t happen again.” PGP

Used my gambling winnings to pay my rent.