Didn’t wake up in a new Bugatti because I’m not Ace Hood.

My boss congratulated me for having 500+ connections.

Pulled up too far from the ATM and had to open my door. PGP

Ever growing job duties, ever stagnant pay.

Friendly reminders are never friendly. PGP.

CCing on emails is the grownup version of tattletale

My boss sent me pictures from his colonoscopy saying “See, told you I wasn’t full of shit” Massive PGP.

Balancing a heavy workload with heavy drinking. PGP

“Are you busy?” PGP.

My boss retired today. I’m more than qualified for that job. They’re filling it from the outside. PGP.