The inspirational quote in your email signature makes you getting fired the change I want to see in the world. PGP.

I just charged on the company card $1,100 for flight and hotel to visit a client that is only paying us $7,500 for our product. PGPM.

Getting upset if you poop before you get to work. PGP.

It’s not that I’m antisocial, it’s just that I don’t give a fuck anymore. PGP.

I just want someone to help me pay rent and also have sex with. PGP.

Just realized I read and enjoyed an article ranking types of milk. PGP.

So much access to bank accounts and social security numbers. All I need is a little push from the right person. PGP.

99% of my work is done in 5 minute bursts. PGP.

“Management will be in town this week to discuss changes they’re making to the office.” …fuck. PGP.

My week feels like Monday, Monday #2, Monday #3, Monday #4, Friday, Saturday, Pre-Monday. PGP.