I used to Facebook while drunk, but I recently switched to Linkedin. PGP.

Just went to HEB solely for ketchup and wine. PGP.

Sat at my desk and realized I left my computer at home. PGP.

Pulled a muscle in my back while having sex. PGP.

Dropped $24 at Starbucks yesterday for the wife and son determined to get that free drink. Open up the app on Monday morning to see I’m at 124 stars. PGP

Is LinkedIn Job Seeker Premium tax deductible? PGP.

Taking a PTO day with plans to get hammered the night before because, “It’s been a while.” PGP.

Jealous of Obama because he gets to quit his job today. PGP.

The office prick reminding everyone Monday is only 3 days away. PGP.

People actually work on Fridays at the new job. PGP.