Everyone at the company baseball game bought beer. I bought Dippin Dots. PGP.

My office has seven people in one room. If I’m in the bathroom for longer than five minutes, everyone knows why. PGP.

Regretting the obligatory “If you have any questions, please let me know” after someone emails you back with a question. PGP.

1: “Who in the fuck brewed decaf?” 2: “Some virgin.” PGP.

I was so excited about getting this job. Now I’m only excited for lunch. PGP.

My friends are getting engaged and buying homes. I still sleep in an extra-long twin bed. PGP.

Coming home to eat leftovers on your couch in your underwear and watch Netflix. PGP.

“I close my eyes, only for a moment, and the moment’s gone. All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity. Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind.” PGP.