Realizing “Friends” is bullshit, because I don’t even know five single people much less hang out with them across the hall. PGP.

Feeling hungover despite not drinking the night before. PGP.

You just keep trying to convince yourself that Tinder isn’t online dating. PGP.

I let all the vegetables in my fridge go bad. Again. PGP.

Buying Nike Dri-Fit clothing knowing full well that you will never wear it for its intended use. PGP.

Haven’t gotten a Tinder match in about a week. I’m telling myself it’s an issue with their servers. PGP.

Swiping left on the hot 21-year-olds just to spare myself the rejection. PGP.

Making the wardrobe transformation from “business professional” to “homeless person” as soon as you get home. PGP.

Watching all these Ice Bucket Challenges make me glad I don’t have that many friends anymore. PGP.

Just broke up with my girlfriend. First thing I did was look at PGP for how to Tinder. PGP.