My CEO had his face painted at this summer’s company picnic. It was a dragon, complete with fire and glitter. PGP.

“Shoulda burned this place down when I had the chance.” -Michael Scott. PGP.

My girlfriend could do better. PGP.

Really glad that you can’t lose it if you don’t use it. PGP.

I woke up and ran before work, because I wanted to. This is what selling out looks like. PGP.

My “Sunday Funday” consisted of getting drunk and giving high school kids unsolicited advice. PGP.

Having to choose between 20 minutes more sleep or rubbing one out before work. PGP.

Looking at vacations I’ll never be able to afford. PGP.

My only regret from college is that I didn’t appreciate my hair when I still had the chance. PGP.

I actually have a lot of responsibility and very little oversight at my job. It’s terrifying. PGP.