Hey Girl, That Gigantic Engagement Ring Means You’re Getting Divorced

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You know that giant rock that (some of) you ladies want and that (some of) you gentleman lose sleep over? Well, science just proved it’s an indication that you two will be sleeping in separate beds with separate people in no time. According to researchers at Emory University:

“Marriage duration is inversely associated with spending on the engagement ring and wedding ceremony.”

Not too shocking when you think about it. If the two of you are more worried about how obnoxiously big the ring and ceremony are and not really thinking about one another, it seems likely that you’re maybe (subconsciously) not too into each other. The more you care about how your relationship looks, the less you care about the actual relationship. I see a sad eBay posting in your future.

Engagement rings are one of those things that I hate to admit I think about. My mom never wears hers so I didn’t even know it was a thing until I was like, 15. But ever since then, I’m ready to admit I’ve looked at various websites at least three times in the past 10 years. The problem comes when you see women whose hands weigh an extra pound. You just look like a doofus. It looks like your husband more than likely prefers tranny prostitutes to the cold embrace of your loveless arms and you sleeping in until 11 every morning.

[via Social Science Research Network]

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Mary Swanson

Both a bitter and optimistic 24-year-old entry-level underachiever with 2-4 friends and 0 talents. Washed up is an understatement. I prefer almost all my food luke-warm, what does that say about me?

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