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Last night was the Oscars, and I am sure the losers had a pretty crappy weekend. But on the other hand, you are all famous actor people and I spent my weekend stocking up on clothes at an Old Navy outlet, so I’m not going to feel bad for them. But the people below…well, they may have better clothes than me, but they also had a worse weekend.
Baker Mayfield
Honestly, with a name like Baker Mayfield, could the Oklahoma quarterback be anything but a douchebag?
According to TMZ, an officer in Arkansas trying to get a statement early Saturday morning regarding an assault and asked the Heisman finalist to stay and give a statement when Mayfield flipped out, swearing and screaming. The police report says that “Mayfield had slurred speech, trouble walking and was covered in food. Mayfield allegedly sprinted away from the officer and once tackled, refused to cooperate.” He was then arrested for public intoxication, disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and fleeing.
His doucheness even manages to permeate his mugshot:
Good job, Baker. [via TMZ]
Wine Drinkers
You know that glass of wine you drink at night that you tell yourself makes you sleep better? Well, science is calling bullshit on your drinking excuse.
In a new piece in The Daily Mail, Dr. Max Pemberton writes about the dangers of using alcohol to self-medicate. While that’s old news, Dr. Pemberton also drops some new info on us, saying that while it’s true that that glass of vino may help you fall asleep, it actually won’t give you a restful sleep. The doctor wrote:
While alcohol undoubtedly has the ability to knock out even the most hardened insomniac, it doesn’t allow the body to go through a full sleep cycle — with the result that drink-fuelled sleep is not properly refreshing.
People who routinely use alcohol to sleep report feeling groggy in the morning.
This is not simply a hangover, but the result of the brain not having rested properly.
Sigh. Why can’t be ever have nice things? [via The Daily Mail]
The Lakers
Remember when the Lakers were a powerhouse? Yeah, it’s a distant memory that is getting further and further in the rearview.
On Sunday, the Lakers lost to the Spurs by 21 points in the team’s first game since Magic Johnson took over the team’s basketball operations last week. The loss puts the Lakers at a record of 19-41, giving the team their fourth consecutive non-winning season and their longest stretch of losing seasons since the team moved from Minneapolis in 1961.
The icing on the loser-cake for the Lakers? This dunk by the Spurs Dewayne Dedmon on Lakers rookie Brandon Ingram (who scored a season-high 22 points, one of the team’s few bright spots of the day):
Seems like that dunk is sort of a metaphor for the Lakers’ season, doesn’t it? [via FoxSports]
USF Men’s Basketball
Another team having a bad season? The men’s basketball team at the University of South Florida, which does not only have a dismal 7-20 record (including a worst in the league 1-15 record in the ACC), but is also under investigation by the NCAA for “possible academic fraud issues.” I don’t know what the hell that means, but the investigation reportedly involves Oliver Antigua, the brother of the team’s former head coach Orlando Antigua (who was fired in early January,) who resigned due to the investigation.
But none of that, or their loss to Tulsa on Thursday, was why the team had a bad weekend. Instead, it’s because the team is so fucked up, they legitimately can’t make even keep track of their own players, literally losing two of them in the Houston airport.
According to The Bleacher Report, players Geno Thorpe and Troy Holston Jr. were left behind during a layover in Houston when they fell asleep waiting for their flight…and the rest of the team apparently failed to notice.
A statement from interim coach Murry Bartow said:
[A]s our team traveled back from Tulsa, two of our players were separated from the rest of our team when we boarded a connecting flight in Houston,” he said. “This unfortunate circumstance, for which I apologize, was recognized by our staff as the plane was leaving the gate and not in time to get the players on the commercial flight. We immediately began to make arrangements to get the players on the very next flight to Tampa and were in communication with them as soon as was possible. Both players arrived safely home in Tampa later that afternoon, at approximately 4:25 p.m., where a staff member met them at the airport.
In the best statement ever from an athlete’s mom, Troy’s mother, Monique Holston-Greene, told The Tampa Bay Times:
“It’s very disappointing, and it’s a reflection of how terrible a program the men’s basketball program is.”
I can’t disagree with Ms. Holston-Greene about the state of the USF basketball program, but she also might want to teach her kid how to make his own flights at the airport. Since he’s technically an adult and such. [via The Bleacher Report]
Amber Rose
Amber Rose being sued by a strip club seems like a bit of an oxymoron, but yet here we are.
On Wednesday, while accepting the Vanguard Award at the “All Def Movie Awards” (whatever the fuck that is), Rose discussed starting her career as a stripper and declared, “But do y’all know Ace of Diamonds? Well, I bought it. So this is to every girl out there, every stripper, y’all can one day be on stage with Russell Simmons, receiving an award.”
Well, the owners of the Ace of Diamonds strip club in Los Angeles didn’t know shit about the supposed sale and are now suing her for slander, seeking more than $1 million.
According to Gossip Cop:
Rose has provided documents showing that she formed a corporation in December called Ace of Diamonds, Inc. and filed for a trademark on the name. The trademark has yet to be approved, and could be difficult to obtain seeing as the original Ace of Diamonds has been in business for years. Rose also noted that she plans on opening a new location with the same name in a month and a half.
Maybe it’s just me, but wouldn’t “Queen of Diamonds” be a better name for a strip club anyway? [via Gossip Cop] .
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Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
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I think Baker Mayfield had a better weekend than me.
“Mayfield had slurred speech, trouble walking and was covered in food.”
can relate.
I’m assuming that this was written before #Oscargate because I would think that the two PwC partners who hand out the winner envelopes to the presenters would have to be at the top of that list.
I would love to be a fly at one of their many follow up meetings and I wonder how many heads will roll.
Really hope you don’t work for PwC, Bill
Nah, I’m in the private industry. Used to work at a Big 4 though.
EY did the miss America count when Steve Harvey messed that up.
That’s what you get when you got your peons counting till 1 AM…
This one was all on the partners though since they handed the presenters the wrong envelope.
But knowing Big 4, I’m sure they’ll find a way to scapegoat this to some seniors and/or staff.
USF is in the AAC not the ACC.
Spurs = GOAT
“Mayfield allegedly sprinted away from the officer and once tackled, refused to cooperate.” In the Big 12 they call this scrambling
Spurs = GOAT
No.
Consistently make it to the play offs since Duncan joined, out of the last 18 seasons 5 championships and 6 western conference championships. and GOAT nba coach Popovich (lebron even admitted it on record) so come at me bruh.
more like GORT (greatest of recent time), Celtics still have the spurs number by a mile.
Hate to say it, but it is hard to argue with the Spurs. They have the highest win percentage of any sports franchise.
Pretty easy when a team wins 8 straight championships.
It’s pretty difficulty to do that.
WE NEED A GOD DAMN EDIT BUTTON.