Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You

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Good morning, my friends! As I suspect it was for most of you, it was a weekend of basketball for me. My beloved Gonzaga is still alive, so I’m a pretty happy camper. But as much as that made my weekend, I don’t suspect that was the case for all of you…so let’s start there.

The March Madness Losers…And Those Of You That Picked Them

My guess is that the ones that hurt the most for the majority of you in terms of brackets are Kentucky and Michigan State. But let’s take a moment to mourn for all of the dudes that were one-and-done: Austin Peay, Colorado, South Dakota State, Cal, Arizona, Buffalo, Temple, UNC Asheville, Holy Cross, Cincy, Baylor, UNC Wilmington, Texas, Green Bay, Oregon State, Cal State Bakersfield, FGCU, USC, Chattanoga, Stonybrook, Michigan, WVU, Pitt, Weber State, Hampton, Texas Tech, Purdue, Iona, Seton Hall, FSU, and Dayton.

And then the poor bastards that made it to the round of 32 only to have their dreams dashed: UCONN, Wichita, Iowa, Yale, Providence, Stephen F. Austin, Butler, Arkansas-Little Rock, Utah, Hawaii, St. Joe’s, VCU, Xavier, MTSU, and Northern Iowa.

I’m sure Thursday and Friday will bring more heartache, but let’s just mourn for these guys until then.

Cole Parzych

You don’t know Cole? Well, neither do I, but he had the last remaining perfect NCAA bracket going into the Wisconsin/Pittsburgh game. According to NCAA.com, Parzych’s bracket, which was in the NCAA March Madness Capital One Bracket Challenge, was the last one standing after the other two perfect brackets in ESPN’s challenge fell after Maryland beat South Dakota; there were no perfect brackets in CBS, Yahoo and Bleacher Report games after the 15-2 MTSU upset over Michigan State.

Cole tweeted about his success on Friday, before it went awry:

But the college freshman and Syracuse fan is riding the wave of having “the last perfect bracket,” with a Twitter fan page popping up and getting interviewed by the New York Post. . The best part? Parzych doesn’t even consider himself an avid basketball fan, so all that time you spent analyzing your stats to create the perfect bracket was put to shame by some kid making random choices. [via NCAA.com]

Xzibit

No matter what your career is, being pigeon-holed for one specific skill can suck. You shouldn’t always have to be in charge of the filing system just because you are hyper-organized, and you shouldn’t have to play the quirky sidekick in every show just because you did it well in one 90’s sitcom. This is one of the few facts that applies to both “regular” jobs and celebrities, and this weekend, we saw an example from the latter category.

Rapper/Actor Xzibit has had a pretty successful career; he’s had a number of successful albums as well as roles in big films such as 8 Mile and The X-Files: I Want to Believe. But yet some people, particularly on social media, refuse to acknowledge him for anything perhaps his most famous gig, host of MTV’s Pimp My Ride. But as one of his Twitter followers found out this weekend, the artist formally known as Alvin Nathaniel Joiner doesn’t take too kindly to that:

Sorry, Alejandra. Looks like you’re going to have to drive your beater for a while longer. [via Huffington Post]

Allegiant

I have to admit that I am not really into the “teen” books, like “The Hunger Games” or The “Divergent” series. I thought that put me in the minority, but looking at the returns for the latest Divergent film, I may not be.

The film,Allegiant, was released this weekend and earned just $29.1 million during its first few days at the movies. Reviews of the firm have been mostly negative, but according to comScore’s Paul Dergarabedian, that’s not the reason for the low earnings – the ever-changing whims of teenagers are. He told USAToday, “Younger audiences change their mind like the weather and it’s very hard to gauge interest. I can’t fault the release date or the marketing plan — they followed exactly what was successful the past couple years. It may just be the conditions of the marketplace.”

Damn those kids. Don’t they know that you are supposed to commit to trends forever? That’s what I tell myself every day when I put on my flannel, choker, and boot leg jeans. [via Perez Hilton]

This Dude Who Just Really Wanted A Donut

Sometimes, you have a craving and you just really need to satisfy it. So you order up some Seamless and call it a night, right? But not if you are this guy in Canada.

A 31-year-old man named Daniel Ferreira in Toronto allegedly boarded a bus early Friday morning and pulled out a knife. The passengers were allowed to get off, and then the hijacker forced the bus driver to run red lights and drive the bus…to the nearest Tim Horton’s.

According to The Toronto Star, “The suspect then entered the Tim Hortons and called 911, “advising them he believed he had overdosed on drugs.” Police arrived at the coffee shop and the man was arrested without incident. No word on if Ferreira got a chocolate glazed or a jelly-filled. [via The Toronto Star]

Image via YouTube

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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