Inside A GroupMe Where One Guy Is Trying To Escape The Possibility Of Living With His Girlfriend

Inside The Hivemind of A GroupMe Where One Guy Is Trying To Escape The Possibility Of Living With His Girlfriend

GroupMes can be a great source of entertainment during the work day, but in critical situations, they can also be a real-time source for bad aggregated advice.

Take the following conversation below, for example. Presented with partially altered names and in real time, we have one man trying to escape the possibility of having to live with his girlfriend while four other guys try and talk him off the cliff — or push him off it, depending on your perspective.

Ladies, if your boyfriend is in a group message with his college buddies, this is essentially how all of his conversations go:

Paul: How do you tell the gf you don’t want to move in together

Paul: Or do you just break up with the gf

Dave: What

Gabe: Dude what

Dave: Dude do not move in with your girlfriend

Paul: Dude

Paul: She’s like ‘We’re almost 27 and it’s not like we aren’t planning on doing this forever ??’

Paul: Like how is it my fault she can’t find a roommate

Cody: Tell her you cheated on her last weekend

Paul: The cheating thing is not relevant

Cody: Ask her to leave you alone

Paul: She has no career goals or aspirations but she has lots of money so idk

Paul: We are in a fight about it currently and she is driving over to talk about it

Bryan: That’s terrifying

Paul: I’m honestly terrified of commitment of any kind

Gabe: That’s just called being a guy

Gabe: Guys being dudes

Dave: Dude you don’t have to do this at all

Paul: Right but how do I say that???

Bryan: Say “I really like you but I don’t want to live together”

Dave: Say “Find some girl roommates its easy”

Cody: I have literally never even met this girl

Bryan: Say “Find me some girl roommates”

Cody: Fuck is this what life is like

Paul: She’s a clinger guys she’s cool but she like doesn’t do anything besides spend money and ask me where I am

Bryan: haha omg say “i have goals and things”

Cody: send a screenshot

Gabe: Tell her you need time and making that step is moving too fast and you don’t think it’ll work out if y’all move into together this soon

Dave: Dude I feel like it’s unbelievably easy to not live with her without making her mad

Gabe: And just keep saying lying things like that after

Dave: Yeah never tell the truth that makes it so easy

Cody: say its not very christian

Paul: @Dave but every argument I have is basically me saying I don’t like you enough to move in

Bryan: Say no and give her a big hug and a pat on the booty

Gabe: Incorrect

Gabe: It’s saying you arnt ready

Gabe: And then just don’t be ready for another like 5 years

Bryan: Gabe have you done this before

Cody: we need screenshots

Bryan: Tell her you’re moving in but so is your little brother

Cody: Yeah just tell her she can move in but we can too

Bryan: Where tf do you find these girls

Gabe: Be nice to her so she still gives you BJs

Cody: murder her

James: What did I miss

Paul: I can’t


Paul: I guess I’ll just live with her

Dave: That’s stupid as fuck

Cody: Ya come on

Bryan: Actually who cares

Paul: She’s almost here. I’ll let you know what happens.

Bryan: Good luck you idiot.

45 minutes later

Paul: We broke up.

Dave: good


Cody: good

Gabe: good


Will update as more information becomes available.

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