My coworker got a $200 Amazon gift card for Secret Santa. I got a Justin Bieber bath towel. PGP.

Changing my desktop background is the most exciting thing I’ve done this week. PGP.

The colleague who uses the royal “we” to refer to your company, despite having only worked there for a short time. PGP.

Starbucks has never gotten my name correct. PGP.

My boss’s stress has now become my stress. PGP.

Deemed the office kid because I listen to early ’90s hits. PGP.

Separate email alerts from mint.com for every budget I’ve exceeded for the month. PGP.

While looking for a shirt to wear to work, I realized no one will notice me anyway. PGP.

Boss just asked me if I owned a YouTube. PGP.

You know you’re getting old when your friends all start having planned pregnancies. PGP.

Accidentally submitted a column as a wall post. PGP.

Didn’t blackout during my entire visit to my parents’ house. It’s a Christmas miracle!! PGP.