Violently sneezed at the urinal and pissed all over myself. PGP.

Toeing the line between skinny fat and just fat. PGP.

Feeling hungover after only drinking a 6-pack. PGP.

Amber alerts while in the stall. PGP.

Refusing to read the “best jobs of 2017” articles because they make me too depressed. PGP.

My ex’s ex is dating my other ex. PGP.

I take the stairs to avoid my coworkers. PGP.

Got to the office 2 hours early to start working on my to-do list. Wifi is down. PGP.

Working to support my fishing addiction. PGP.

Fell asleep with 6 minutes left in the game. PGP.

Fell asleep on the couch for the 2nd half of the game. PGP.

The heat in our office building broke today. It’s 17 degrees outside. PGP.