Accidentally peeped my manager’s notepad during conversation. It said: “NO ANALYTICAL SKILLS”. PGP.

New guy’s name is Brady…he’s a complete Todd. PGP.

I’ve texted more with my boss in the last two days than anyone else. PGP.

Wine makes me sleepy. PGP.

I got drunk and bought the new Air Jordan golf shoes. Jesus help me. PGP.

Getting ghosted on Valentine’s weekend. PGP.

The closest you can get to psychedelic drugs is Joe Rogan’s podcast. PGP.

Saving money on car washes by parking outside during thunderstorms. PGP.

Threw my back out while lying on the couch this weekend. PGP.

“Happy Monday!…” PGP.

My right knee is beginning to tell me the weather. PGP.

Brought in donuts on my first Friday in the new office. Upside: everyone likes me. Downside: now I have no beer money for the weekend. PGP.