Wishing you could include “filling out job applications” under “skills.” PGP.

The coworker that never stops practicing his golf swing when he stops by your office to talk. PGP.

Everyone is getting married and having kids. I’m just like “I bought a new toaster with a bagel setting.” PGP.

Always having that one SFW tab open on your browser, just in case. PGP.

Considering lying when clients and coworkers ask if you have kids. PGP.

Forgetting to say happy birthday to your manager. PGP.

Being the only one drinking at lunch. PGP.

“You know you’re going bald, right?” PGP.

Overwhelming excitement when you see the blue cleaning product still in the toilet. PGP.

That moment when you realize you’ve had deodorant marks on your shirt all day. PGP.

Counting down the years till I get a finger up my butt. PGP.

The difference in the amount of available parking spots from 5 minutes early to 5 minutes late. PGP.