My boss pulled me into his office to discuss why I’ve “lost my glow.” PGP.

My mom has a more active dating life than I do. PGP.

If you’re going to bitch me out in an email, at least have the courtesy to not end it with a smiley face. PGP.

Your fridge being covered in save the dates. PGP.

The continuous refinement of your resume turning into a second job. PGP.

Dad body, zero kids. PGP.

A constant state of existential-crisis. PGP.

I went to college to do this? PGP.

Having to come up with justification for your crappy job other than “It pays the bills,” because that’s not entirely accurate. PGP.

I’m pretty sure I would be 30% more productive if I saw daylight more. PGP.

Having to call the cops on someone else instead of other people calling the cops on you. PGP.

Hit a couple dozen golf balls yesterday. Neck and back are both sore today. PGP.