My boss hasn’t called me the right name since he’s hired me.

I wear headphones all day at work, partially because I enjoy listening to music, but mostly because I can’t stand the sound of my coworker’s voice.

Spending the last hour scrambling to make your day look productive. PGP

In-private browsing is God’s gift to employees who have to use office computers.

Co-workers and clients who think your workplace is a kid-friendly environment.

Being bored and still refusing to work. PGP

Pandora went from $3.99/month to $5/month. Gonna have to rework my entire monthly budget. PGP.

I told my boss I gave up working after lunch for Lent PGP.

The boss’s motivational speech working for half an hour before you’re back to surfing the internet. PGP.

Putting on headphones that aren’t even plugged into anything in order to avoid office discourse. PGP.

The riskiest thing I’ve done all week is download software without IT’s permission. PGP.

The words “Budgets” and “Revenue” now sound like fingernails on a chalkboard PGP.