Gray hairs sprouting like weeds due to stress, conference calls, and the same cubicle for the last 5 years. PGP.

“I wish they’d let us work outside today!” PGP.

Does my pee smell like coffee, or does the coffee smell like pee? PGP.

The guy I interviewed today said I look like McLovin. PGP.

The only time I ever wash my hands after going to the bathroom is when someone else is there. Even then, I pull a Costanza and just run some water. PGP.

The “entry level 15” is a lot more depressing than the “freshman 15.” PGP.

Everyone above me is quitting. I’m not getting promoted. PGP.

1: “I work an 8-5.” 2: “You mean 9-5?” 1: “No. That’s a figment of your young imagination.” PGP.

If I’m leaving work at the same time as a coworker, I’ll dip into the bathroom so I don’t have to talk to them the whole way out. PGP.

To your point, I want to point out that the point of this meeting is to point out things are to your point. PGP.

Strategically moving around the same 5 piles of paper so it looks like you’ve done work today. PGP.

You know you’re a real adult when your phone, laptop, and gas tank are constantly running on E. PGP.