Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.

Trading your expensive tobacco habit for an expensive nicotine gum habit. PGP.

When IT needs a laugh, they look at my IM history. PGP.

Using your dog as an excuse to get out of things you don’t want to do after work. PGP.

Looking up exercise programs knowing full well that you’ll never do any of them. PGP.

Girlfriend, 401(k), gym membership. Pick one. PGP.

I’m legitimately worried I won’t be able to afford a new gameday polo for this season. PGP.

I have no self control. PGP.

Really starting to get tired of the breakfast at the hotel I’m staying in. PGP.

I fell asleep during a haircut last night. PGP.

“Your request to increase your credit line has been denied.” PGP.

The single pube on the top of the urinal. PGP.