Emails prefaced with “Action Required.” PGP.

I could be on that super-drug from “Lucy” and still wouldn’t be able to get all this shit done. PGP.

Only thing worse than my golf swing is my entire body the next day. PGP.

My birthday treat was adding guac to my burrito that I’m eating alone at my desk. PGP.

The closest thing I have to a lifelong relationship is my relationship with Sallie Mae. PGP.

A firm, yet very depressing sense of self-awareness. PGP.

Having a stretching routine before heading out for the night. PGP.

The coworker sitting across from my cubicle has been threatening to quit his job for months now. PGP.

Finding a significant other with good health insurance is my number one priority, because mine is awful. PGP.

The traditional Monday morning removal of the croakies. PGP.

“Hey Dad, I’m coming home today” “Why?” PGP.

I get excited when I think about what I’m gonna wear next casual Friday. PGP.